


Commitment

by moonshinedown



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, they are soft and in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 11:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20620457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonshinedown/pseuds/moonshinedown
Summary: Beverly has made it very clear that she doesn't ever want to get married, but Ben still wants to let her know he's fully committed to her.College age AU oneshot.





	Commitment

Ben sat in his dorm room and heaved a sigh as he twirled the ring in between his fingers. He had been so sure when he bought it two days ago, but now he was doubting himself. It was too elaborate, too showy with its rose gold, metallic band twisted in a crown pattern, with small, twinkling gems set into it and the date that they started dating engraved on it – April 5, 1994, just two months away from their high school graduation.

It was stupid at the time, since they were both on such different paths in life and planning on attending schools all the way across the country from one another, but he had insisted he would make it work, if she wanted to put in the effort too. He remembered holding his breath, waiting and expecting a rejection, but she had nodded and swore to him that she would do all she could to work with him, and they would give it a try. Twice they had broken up in the past three years. She had dated other men, first finding her way back to Bill, and then exploring possibilities outside their friend group. Ben had only dated one other girl, and though he liked her, she was not Beverly. He would always find his way back to Beverly.

It was not an engagement ring, though it looked like one, which made him far too self-conscious and was the exact reason he was sitting in his dorm room on the verge of a panic attack instead of sitting outside on this bright, sunny day with his friends. He did not want Beverly to think this was an engagement ring, and she didn’t want her to think that it was going to lead to an engagement ring. She had been firm with him a few months into their relationship, telling him that if he expected it to end in marriage, he should break up with her right then, because she was never going to get married, not even to a wonderful guy like him. She had seen too many horrors in her house growing up, the way her father treated her mother, the way her father treated her. Marriages don’t work. That’s what she had told him. And he had been perfectly okay with it, so long as he could be around her and still hold her hand and kiss her and love her. But he wanted to show her, in some way, how committed he was to her and this relationship, despite the odds, and at the time it had seemed like a perfectly good idea to buy this promise ring, but now he wasn’t so sure. It might scare her away instead of drawing them closer.

He got up, looking out the window to see that his friends were indeed right where he had expected them to be, right in front of their dorm in the small courtyard, sitting on the narrow ledge of the fountain. It was only him, Richie, Mike, and Beverly now. The others had gone off on their own paths and only made it up to visit once or twice a year. Pretty soon, it would be just him and Beverly. Or maybe just him.

She was sitting next to Richie, her feet kicking against the edge of the fountain as she took a long drag from a cigarette and blew out the smoke. Richie, dressed in his ridiculous neon colors, made some sort of comment that made her throw her head back and laugh. He always loved the way she laughed, how it seemed to take over her entire body. What he did not love was her smoking, but he had gotten used to it, and sometimes she got these peach scented cigars that smelled really good, and she and Richie smoked them while he and Mike sat idly by and breathed in the scent.

He couldn’t believe that he used to be jealous of Beverly and Richie’s friendship. It had always frightened him, how nicely the two of them seemed to fit together, how he could make her laugh with two words and make her entire face light up, but after years and years of knowing them, it was evident that there was no sort of attraction there. The two of them were soulmates, but in a different way than Ben believed he and Beverly were. He knew that he and Beverly were supposed to be together. He just wasn’t sure if she knew it too. He could easily frighten her off.

But it was a risk he was willing to take to show her how much he cared for her, how much he was willing to do to take care of her and be with her until the end of their days. Eight years they had known each other, and he hadn’t gotten tired of her yet. She was still just as beautiful, just as perfect as the first day he’d seen her in class in middle school.

Taking a deep breath and bracing himself for the failure he might receive for his gesture, he left his dorm room, clutching the ring so tightly in his right hand that it was leaving an indention. In his other hand, he carried a portable radio with a cassette in it that Beverly had made for him months ago as a birthday present, something that he listened to every day.

As he walked out the front door, Beverly was the first to spot him crossing the courtyard, and a wide smile slowly spread across her face as she took one final puff of her cigarette and put it out on the ledge of the fountain. The sun shone down on her and bathed her in an angelic light, making her bright red hair glow like the bright flames of a forest fire. Winter fire. That’s what he had written for her. How the bright, beautiful red curls had contrasted with her pale complexion like fire in the middle of a light snowfall. There wasn’t a single thing about her that he would change.

“Benjamin!” Richie shouted in one of his ridiculous Voices, something that sounded like he was trying to be Australian, but it really just sounded like Richie, trying not to choke. Ben was unsure of how he was able to accomplish that. “I love you! Come give me a kiss!” He puckered his lips at him, outstretching his arms and waiting for Ben to fall in with his stupid act, but Ben was far too nervous to acknowledge him, much less come up with some witty comeback or play along with him.

“Ben,” Beverly said, as Mike scooted away from her and made room for Ben to sit down. She glanced at the portable radio but said nothing as he plopped down, hands shaking and breath rattling in his chest painfully. A single bead of sweat traced its way down his face. She leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek, and he flashed her a soft, nervous smile, his fingers leaving the radio and grazing the place where her lips had been. He could feel heat rising to the surface, and he just hoped that it wasn’t that obvious. He would never hear the end of it from Richie. But he couldn’t help it. Beverly still left him flustered.

“Is something wrong?” Beverly asked when he didn’t really respond to him. A deep frown fell across her face, her eyebrows furrowed in concern, and she reached for his right hand to take it into her own. Ben jerked his hand away, startled, afraid that she would feel the ring, but now, with the look of surprise on her face, he was even more afraid that he had upset her.

“Ben?” she said, voice trembling.

“What the hell is your problem?” Richie asked.

“S-sorry. Sorry. I’m just…” Ben’s breath was failing him. He couldn’t even find words to describe what was going on. “Look, I’m not gonna sit here and make small talk and goof off because that’s just a waste of time. I’m just gonna say what I need to say and get it over with because I’m really nervous, and I…” He paused, glancing over at Richie, who was gazing at him with wide, curious eyes, and then over at Mike, who looked more concerned than curious. “Um…I kinda wish we were alone for this, but whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

“Are you breaking up with her?” Richie asked, his voice rising an entire octave.

Ben stared at him, startled, and looked to Bev, who seemed to have taken the idea to heart. Her lower lip was trembling, her entire body coiled tightly with tension. He shook his head rapidly, taking her hand in his own – the one not holding the ring – and squeezed it tightly, tracing circles on her skin with his thumb. He could feel her relax at his touch, and he sighed a breath of relief. “Of course I’m not gonna break up with you. Why would I ever want to be without someone as perfect as you?”

Her blue eyes lit up, like the sun hitting the ocean as it rose over the horizon. He noticed a soft blush on her cheeks, and he couldn’t help but smile knowing that he, Ben Hanscom, was able to make a goddess like Beverly Marsh blush.

“Then what is it?” Richie asked, leaning forward so far that Ben thought for sure he was going to fall off the ledge and hit the ground.

Mike groaned. “Shut up, Richie! Let the man finish!”

Ben nodded at his friend appreciatively and turned back to Beverly, sliding his hand from hers and pressing the play button on the radio. “Please Don’t Go, Girl” by New Kids on the Block started to play, and as the seconds ticked by, he felt more and more like a total idiot. But he had to finish what he had started. He squeezed his eyes shut for a brief moment, trying to muster up his courage, and then looked at Beverly, the soft, confused look on her face grounding him to reality. He smiled at her. Everything was going to be okay.

“Is this the mixtape I made you?” she asked.

“Yes. I listen to it every day because it reminds me of you.” He sucked in a breath. It was getting easier now. As long as he kept his eyes on Bev, he could block the entire world and all of his doubts and worries out. “So this was the first song that I referenced to you on the first day that you decided to bless me with your presence. I shouted it out to you after you walked away, and I wasn’t even sure if you had heard me. Then I was kicking myself for being so stupid because I thought you were way too cool to actually listen to New Kids on the Block, and you were probably just mocking me anyway. But I still liked you. A lot. And then this song comes on at our graduation party and you pull me out on the dance floor to dance with you, and I tell you that I’m not much of a dancer, but you don’t really care. And you know all the words. You didn’t say it, but I knew you remembered. Then the song ends up on this mixtape years later, and I kind of feel like it’s our anthem.”

“Is he doing what I think he’s doing?”

“For God’s sake, Richie, shut up!”

Ben ignored them. He was watching Beverly now, the smile on her face slowly disappearing as she pulled her hand away from him and cleared her throat, running her fingers through her short, wavy hair. Her eyes would not meet his. His heart started thumping painfully in his chest, and he was afraid that he was losing her, letting her slip right through his fingers and glide her way back to someone like Bill, who wouldn’t be pulling stupid shit like this for a queen like Beverly Marsh.

Get on with it, he told himself.

“Um…anyway, my point is…we have a really long history together, and I know I’m not the best boyfriend in the world, and I know there’s nothing I can do to ever deserve to be in your presence, but –”

“Ben.” Her icy blue eyes pierced into him like knives, and he had a feeling that this was over now. He had messed up. Her cheeks were blazing bright red in a way that he had never seen before. He had embarrassed her. “We’ve talked about this. Maybe we need to talk about it again. Somewhere private.”

Ben shook his head. His throat felt dry, and he coughed into his hand and ran his fingers through his hair. The song was coming to a close. He felt like he was going to be sick.

“I know we have, and I’m perfectly okay with your choices,” he said. “You know that. But I love you, Bev. I think I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you. And I don’t need to marry you or start a family or anything. I just want you to know how committed I am to you and to this relationship, and I mean…I’m sure you do know, but…”

“Ben –”

“I was really hoping that you would accept this promise ring from me.” He opened his hand, realizing now how clammy they were as she stared at the ring in his palm. Richie and Mike both got up, leaning over Ben and Bev to try to get a better look at it.

Richie made a low whistling sound, impressed by the ring. “That’s high-class. You sure that’s not an engagement ring?”

“A promise ring isn’t an engagement ring,” Ben tried to explain, refusing to take his eyes off of Beverly. Her shoulders were tensed, her lips twitching with words that she would not say. Her eyes were far too wide and scared, like a deer about to be run over in the road. He wasn’t even sure if she was breathing. “It’s just a way of saying that I promise to stay with you no matter what. And that I’ll love you forever, and nothing is ever going to change that. And maybe someday, if you change your mind, I can get you a real ring.”

“Jesus, this isn’t a real ring?” Richie asked in disbelief.

Again, Ben ignored him. He was sweating profusely now, and he quickly wiped away the beads of sweat rising to the surface on his forehead. Beverly looked incredibly pale. Sickly pale. Ben closed his eyes, letting out a defeated sigh and squeezing his hand tightly over the ring again to hide it from sight.

“Or…we could just pretend this never happened, and you can –”

He was not able to finish as Beverly’s soft lips met his in a fierce, passionate kiss that left his head swirling and bright lights flashing behind his eyelids. Her fingers ran gently through his hair and trailed their way down his cheeks, his neck, his chest, stopping when they reached his hand and prying his fingers open to grab the ring. She pulled away from him, and he stared at her, breathless, as she slipped the metal band over her left ring finger.

“Of course I’ll wear it,” she said, planting another soft kiss on his lips. “I love you, Ben Hanscom.”

“I love you, Beverly Marsh.”

Seconds of silence followed as Bev held her hand out, turning it left and right to admire the ring, and Ben held her other hand, watching her in complete awe and disbelief, unsure how he had managed to land a girl like her. But he was glad he did. He couldn’t stop smiling.

“So I’ll be the maid of honor, right?” Richie asked. “It’s only fair, Bev. You don’t have any girl friends, and I would look great up there next to you. I would throw you the best bachelorette party –”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Mike said, reaching over and smacking him on top of the head before getting up from the ledge. “Come on. Let’s give the gentleman and the lady some peace.”

Ben smiled up at him gratefully. Mike was always better at taking social cues than Richie was. As they walked away, Richie still casting glances over his shoulder at them, Ben leaned in and placed a kiss on the tip of Beverly’s nose, and she chuckled and pressed her forehead against his. He could see a bright future for them unfolding right before his eyes. Maybe not engagement or marriage, but a lifetime of joy shared together. He knew that, ring or no ring, their love was for forever.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this ages ago and posted it on Tumblr, but the new movie has me feeling some type of way, so I decided to move it to here too.


End file.
